i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
