At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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