sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize