Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
