i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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