Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
