Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Congratulations! We have a period
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
