fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
