apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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