my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
