I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
