what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
