dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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