ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
