and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
