Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
