I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
