Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
