i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
