i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
