Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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