hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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