I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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