remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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