Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
