he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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