I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Randomize