You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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