i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
