sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
