alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
