ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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