K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
