I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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