If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
