was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
