Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
