Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
