I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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