you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize