i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
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Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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