i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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