No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
