omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
