i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
