I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Randomize
