so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
