That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
