Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
