Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize