All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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