he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
