Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
