And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize