You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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