sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
