"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
