You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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