His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
