Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
