im drinking this country out of the recession.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
