I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
