I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
