I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
