Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
